


in the tentative night

by Cheeseliquor



Category: Ensemble Stars! (Video Game)
Genre: Depression, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-22
Updated: 2020-08-22
Packaged: 2021-03-06 20:49:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 393
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26045281
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cheeseliquor/pseuds/Cheeseliquor
Summary: If there was anything he still liked, besides mascot characters, it was going down to the train station nearest to his home and staring at the train tracks, imagining how it would be to fling himself off the edge.
Relationships: Morisawa Chiaki/Takamine Midori
Kudos: 10





	in the tentative night

_Ah. It’s so depressing. I want to die._

Midori thinks this in the comfort of his bedroom. The air conditioner is blowing chilly air all around him, but he can’t feel it. Even though Chiaki is lying right beside him, Midori can’t feel any of his warmth.

_I want to die. I want to die. I’m scared of death, I want to die._

Last night, they’d had sex for the first time, and it had felt- good. Awkward at first, but Chiaki had been gentle, and eventually things had fallen into place. Midori had learned that there were more parts of his body capable of pleasure and pain than he’d ever imagined. For a little while, he’d felt- alive. And when they’d curled up together, Chiaki offering his arm as a pillow for Midori to lay on, he’d felt happy, loved. 

But like a flash of light in a storm, it was over. They’d slept past the morning and he’d woken up the way he always did; with the feeling that nothing mattered, that there were elastic bands weaving him into the cover of his bed that made it impossible for him to move even an inch. Staring up at the ceiling, he asked himself if he ever wanted to have sex with Chiaki again, and the answer was a resounding no. To have his personal walls broken down, to show someone else such embarrassing parts of himself- none of the love or sweetness was worth it. 

Midori gazed out the window and saw an elderly lady carrying a bucket of vegetables down the street in the noon heat. He wondered if he could die if he jumped out the window then and there. He’d only break a leg, he knew, but the fantasy was comforting. If there was anything he still liked, besides mascot characters, it was going down to the train station nearest to his home and staring at the train tracks, imagining how it would be to fling himself off the edge. 

He thought to himself that a week from then, he’d ask Chiaki out to a restaurant and formally break up with him. It would be better if he ended things then, before Chiaki was too emotionally invested. There was nothing to invest in, anyway. Midori was a lost cause. All day, every day, he was simply wasting away. 


End file.
